


Necronomicoffee

by SethTalon



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-11-29 07:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18219998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SethTalon/pseuds/SethTalon
Summary: This is a story I started on Tumblr which I am now cross-posting on AO3Between this @writingprompts post ( https://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/178795358467/after-you-and-death-had-a-bad-break-up-they-told ), a post about what it's actually like to work at a coffee shop (which I will link if/when I find it again) and some prompting from my friend @chaoticdumpstercactus (tumblr), I have started a new story





	1. Beginnings

Iced mocha macchiato for Cheryl

served

 

Caramel frappe for Bobby

served

 

Chai latte for Dea-  
What?!

“Jason!” I watched the cashier ask his current customer for a moment and then he turned to me.  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you sure you got this customer's name right?”  
Jason glanced at the cup and grimaced. “Oh yeah, that guy. Trust me just roll with it. It’s the name he gave me and I’m sure you’ll understand when he picks it up.”  
And with that he was back at the register, not another moment spent on it.  
I looked at the cup again, shrugged, and filled the order. There was definitely a moment of hesitation as I placed the order on the counter, but hey, that’s just how the service industry be sometimes.  
“One chai latte for Death!”  
As the figure separated from the crowd, I did understand. I looked em over, taking in the thin black robe and cowl draped over a figure distinctly shorter and slightly rounder than the usual depictions of death. With such sheer fabric light showed through easy, so the hood hid nothing of the scraggly stubble or the nervous flicking of brown eyes. He shifted his plastic scythe to his left hand before reaching for the drink.  
“Th-thanks.” He mumbled before shoving the drink to his face and gulping to two mouthfuls.  
I turned away to prep the next drink, but before I could even reach for a cup, he spoke again.  
“Uh.. you might want to check on whoever’s in the men's restroom.” I turned my head slightly to make eye contact but he was looking at the floor. “They’ve been in there for like, a half an hour.”  
Sighing, I snagged the restroom keys and told Jason I’d be back in a second. The crowd parted for me as I made my path known and I stepped up to the wooden door of the single occupancy men's restroom. Knocking got no answer so I started fumbling through the keyring. Eventually I spotted the one I wanted and opened the door.

The smell of puke was the first thing to hit me, but the sight registered right behind. A vomit and blood mix filled the toilet bowl and a trail led over the edge. A pale hand still clutched the rim. Judging by the awkward angles the arm was forced into to accommodate that grip while the body lay face up on the floor rigor mortis hadn’t set in yet. But it only took one glance at the eyes to realize nobody was home.  
Not anymore.


	2. Instruction Manual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions are asked, people don't like the answers.

I didn’t go in the room. I shut and locked the door, then put caution tape over it. A few quick gestures got Jason away from the customers long enough to fill him in. Then it was time to call 911.  
Feeling there wasn’t any need for shouting to the world about what had happened just yet, I went ahead and made the call in the parking lot.

Of course that extra effort went to waste almost immediately when the ambulance came screaming into the parking lot, sirens blaring. Yeah the shop really cleared- fuck. Even I can’t believe the lie I’m trying to sell here. The arrival of an ambulance didn’t diminish the number people in the store, nor did the sheet covered stretcher they hauled out of the bathroom. Not even the cops showing up and asking questions made people shy away. As a matter of fact, more people were squeezing in during the ghoulish spectacle. 

…Which was really unfortunate since the police wanted to talk to Jason and I one at a time. That left the other to tend to the customers. And since I found the body, they wanted me first.

There wasn’t much to say really. A customer complained about someone being in the bathroom too long so I went to check on it. From there it was simple. Open door, find body, make sure noone else would stumble on it, alert manager, call 911.   
The officer taking my statement raised an eyebrow. “That’s it, huh? No freaking out when you randomly found a dead body in your bathroom?”  
I shook my head. “Naw. It’s not the first I’ve seen. I’m working here to help reduce how much debt I’ll have to deal with once I’m done with nursing school.” I paused for a moment and realized how callous I sounded. “I mean, it’s sad, sure. But not something to freak out over.”  
She nodded and wrote down a few more notes. “And that’s it? Nothing out of the ordinary other than the dead body?”  
Nodding, I went back over it all in my head. My tongue tripped on the “yes” coming out of my mouth as another surfaced. “Well, uh… there was one thing. That was kinda weird. It was probably just a coincidence, but…”  
The officer’s eyebrow was up again, pen paused on her notebook. I scratched the back of my head and continued. “ The customer who told me that there’d been someone in bathroom for a half an hour, he gave his name as Death and was dressed up like the grim reaper.”  
Now both eyebrows were up, nicely complementing the look of incredulity in her eyes. “Are you trying to say that the personification of death waltzed in here, did his business with the guy in the bathroom and then decided to get a macchiato or what have you on his way out?”  
It wouldn’t occur to me until later that her voice wasn’t as surprised as it could have been. Her eyes maybe not so wide in disbelief.

No, right that second, my lips thinned as my own eyebrows lowered to shoot her a mild glare. “No, what I am saying is that someone in a shitty costume with dramatic leanings happened to be the person to tell me the restroom had been occupied for a lengthy period. I don’t think it means anything, but you asked for unusual and I figured that counted.”

I had to bite my tongue to force myself to shut up. I hate not being taken seriously and I really really hate being made to look foolish. But there is a fine line between getting upset at a police officer and ending up in front of a judge for obstruction of justice, and that is a line I do not want to cross.

Thankfully she didn’t seem to take issue with it, just wrote a few more notes and asked me to send my manager over. I let Jason know it was his turn and took over taking and making the orders. There were so many people that I didn’t have time to spare for wondering about Jason and the officer’s conversation.

After a good five minutes of customer overload hell, Jason tapped me on the elbow. I let him take over the till and focused on churning out orders. Just as we were finally getting back into the rhythm, I glanced up to see the officer and her partner packing up to leave. She had glanced up at the same time I did and we happened to make eye contact. I barely contained a groan as she walked over to me.

But instead of more questions or berating me for being rude, she just slid a black leather-bound book across the counter. “Here. Consider this an apology for my reaction earlier.” She smiled and before I could try to say thanks, She was out the door.

I shrugged and slid the book into my bag, then forgot about it for the rest of my shift


	3. Tutorial level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the first intentional steps of the journey are taken. Who knows where it may lead?

A week later I was trying to suppress nervous tremors in my hand while putting the finishing touches on a chalk circle. A circle I had filled with flower petals, arcane diagrams and scraps of a dead language. Incense tickled my nose and the leather bound book was open, showing an exact mirror of the chalk image I had drawn on my floor.  
I wasn’t sure why I was going through with this ludicrous concept. I’m still not sure why I did it. There were countless other tasks requiring my attention, from writing papers to meal prep for the week. Hell, I didn’t even really believe the book, with all the spells and drawings to teach the basics of necromancy. I mean really, necromancy?! Gotta be some bullshit.

Yet here I was anyway, despite everything, trying it out.

After the diagrams were completed, I set out some candles and lit them

One of the first things the book said about spells is that, technically speaking, none of the accoutrements (chalk circle, candles, etc.) are necessary. Theoretically, If one has rhe experience, focus, and force of will, the effects could be achieved simply by command. But that hasn’t ever occurred according to the knowledge of the writer.

No, until someone figures that one out we we’re all stuck using various items and procedures to assist our dabblings. According to the book, the more effort put in for all the components, the less stress the caster has to deal with directly. So I’d spent the last week getting the chalk diagrams just right, making sure my petals were from the right kind of flower, and picking up candles.

I grabbed the book to start reading the chant, but the first syllable was barely uttered before I stopped.

What was I doing? Not even in a 'why am I doing this?' sense, literally just… what was I trying to do here? I’d set up everything so I could call on and ask questions of a spirit, but had forgotten to decide who to call on.

Review of ritual recommendations showed that it was best to have some object tied to the person you were calling and that it was also helpful to call on someone close to you. I considered calling on my Gram, as it would be nice to talk to her again. (Am I really expecting this to work somehow?) However I didn’t have anything close to hand that was linked to her and I didn’t want to go running around looking for something to fill in while everything else was already sitting here ready to go.

Besides, the book was pretty clear that a linked item would be more important than the closeness of the relationship.

Glancing around the room for something, anything, that was obviously linked to a dead person, my eyes fell on one a my wall hangings. Sky blue thread stitched into a sunny green cloth laid out a promise. Words known to every medical practitioner in countless countries.

The Hippocratic Oath


	4. Tutorial part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little bit of surprise  
> little bit of suspense

The echoes of my chanting died away, and I realized that I had ended up reading that much louder than I meant to. Thankfully, it was a small building with only a few apartments. Few enough in number that I knew all the other tenants and knew none would be home at this time of day.

Regardless, it seemed there was nothing to hide anyway. No voices, no spooky lights or even flickering candle flames.

*Maybe I screwed something up? A line in my diagram wrong or a stutter in the chant or… * I could hear the blood rush in my ears, eager to highlight my embarrassment.

*Or maybe there isn’t anything. Maybe this is all a sick joke. ..* My face fell into my hands.

*Why did I bother with this bullshit?* A sigh escaped, and I took a deep breath to replace it. Then I sucked in a bit deeper and looked up to blow out the candles.

It was at that point that I noticed that what little smoke had been drifting about the room from the candles and incense had coalesced and thickened into a generally human shape.

The face was the most defined, but that didn’t mean much. I could make out the general shape of eyes mouth and nose, but no details. More of a suggestion of a face, really.

That deep breath I had just taken to blow out the candles? Yeah, that released with absolutely no aim. Candles flickered (but stayed lit), and flower petals floated and spiraled through the air.   
But the smokeform was completely unaffected. Well, not by my breath, anyway. The almost lips moved, and somehow formed words that could be heard clearly. 

“If you’re trying to blow me away, that won’t work.” He sounded.. amused. Joking? Yeah, I’m pretty he was trying to make a joke.

Unfortunately, if he was hoping for a laugh out of me he was to be disappointed. “ I..uh..whhooo..” I stumbled and tumbled through the sounds coming out of my mouth until I finally managed a coherent “What?! What the fuck?”

The head shape on top tilted and the almost lips moved again. “Is this a joke? Metaphysical ding dong ditch?” His voice was getting louder. Angrier. “Call me and then pretend you don’t know what’s going on despite the fact that that you clearly made extensive preparations?” The arm shapes gestured at the circle and all the rest of it.

At which point he finally looked down and noticed my framed copy of the Hippocratic Oath. 

And stopped. And stared. At least, my best guess was that he was staring. I cannot stress enough how difficult it is to read the body language of a nearly amorphous smoke shape.

When he spoke again it quieter. “Is that the only thing linked to me that you used?” He gestured to the Oath with a smoke blob appendage.

Not sure whether I could trust my mouth to say what I told it to, I just nodded.  
The top of the smoke cloud bobbed right back at me and then settled a bit lower into the cloud than it had been before. He didn’t speak for the moment and neither did I, both probably pondering what sort of response the situation warranted.

Just as I was about to say something, the top raised again and he spoke. “Well, this is certainly interesting and I would love to discuss it further, but I’m rather busy at the moment. Do call me up another time.”

The smoke lost all cohesion and started to drift. Technically, I couldn’t say for sure, but I was fairly confident that Hippocrates, if that had even been who I was talking to, was gone.

Amidst all the confusion, I was left with one certainty. 

This shit was for real.


	5. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes it's just so difficult to find the info you want

Now that I knew that I was actually indulging something real instead of a fantasy, I wanted to get some more information before trying any more spells. While the book itself had some info, most of what was in there was spells.   
However, at the very end, penciled on the inside of the back cover, there was a list. A list which some quick search revealed to be books on exactly the kind of information I wanted.  
It even looked like a few of them were available for free as PDFs. After scanning them for malware, I went ahead and downloaded those three to my phone.  
Now it was late morning on a Wednesday and I was slinging coffee again, but all I could think about was the one and a half PDFs still unread on my phone. I was only two hours into my shift and I’d already served ten orders incorrectly.  
This is a lot more concerning once you know we’d only had ten orders.   
Incredibly, most of the customers had brushed it off and the one guy with a lactose allergy had been stopped at the last second.  
As I was bringing my latest corrected order to the serving counter, I checked the cup to make sure I’d get the name right. “Here’s your chai, Ms. Thantos. So sorry for the wait.”  
The elderly lady dressed in all black waved my apology away with one dark skinned hand. “Don’t worry about it, dear. And please, just call me Dea.”  
I blinked, and almost asked Dea why she’d give one version of her name if she wanted to be called another, but, for once, my good sense took over the decision making process and kept my mouth shut.  
As she wandered off to a table, I rubbed the bridge of my nose and wondered how the hell I confused a chai latte for a double shot espresso.   
Seriously, how the fuck is that mistake a possibility?  
Jason, once again manager for the shift, was apparently wondering the same thing as he quietly told me to take fifteen to get my head out of my ass.  
Thankfully, our particular coffee shop didn’t have much of a uniform. Taking the apron off was enough to make me look like a customer instead of an employee, so I snagged a cup of water and went to sit at one on the tables. We didn’t really have a break room. Or a backroom. Or much of anything other than what customers could see. A storage closet constituted the entirety of that, so the store was our break room.   
I tried to just sit and relax. Really, I did. Clear my mind, focus on the moment. All the stuff I’d been training myself in to help with my exploration of Necromancy.   
That lasted all of 30 seconds. After that I got too impatient, took my phone out, and dove right in.  
Where the first book had focused on practicals (stuff like different traditions and how to design your own circle, etc.), this one was largely focused on the dangers and consequences of improper practice. There was mundane, like don’t leave candles burning unattended. Then there was the more arcane, like don’t do this when you’re tired or you could end up with results other than intended cause you can’t focus correctly.   
One bit that had popped up several times throughout the book was warnings not to try to return to life anything that has died. Not really a problem for me, as I had no interest in doing so. The curious part was that the book didn’t seem to have any issue with reanimation (i.e. zombies, skeletons, etc.), though of course it laid out what dangers you had to be aware of and take preventative measures against. But the only part I saw just an unexplained “don’t do it” for was to put a soul back into a body and bring the dead back to true life.  
I dove in, hoping to find an explanation, but by the time I had to get back behind the counter, there still had been no answer.  
Never the less, I pocketed my phone and dutifully retook my place behind the counter. Gave Jason a quick nod which, when translated to English from service-job-ese, roughly rendered as “your turn for break.” And then I was alone behind the counter.  
So of course that’s when the headache walked in


	6. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smart? Idiotic? Who knows what these decisions qualify as, all we know is that the decisions have been made

The door signal chimed as I finally left the shop for the day. Head down, I walked the few blocks to the bus stop. I wanted a coin to flip, or a ball to bounce as I walked. Something to fidget with.  
I settled for chewing my thumbnail while I thought about the day. My attention had improved after realizing that I wouldn’t be solving the taboo revival any time soon, but the quality of customer went severely downhill.  
It had started with that first customer after I came back from my break. Double shot caramel macchiato with a spoonful of honey. She didn’t look up as she ordered, not until I mentioned that our honey wasn’t behind the counter; instead it was off to the side with other additives.  
We do this in an attempt to reduce customer complaints. If a customer over or under sweetens their drink it can be their own damn problem instead of ours.  
Unfortunately, this customer seemed to be intent on making it our problem. She had an almost believable innocence routine going (her voice was just a little bit too sweet and her eyes slightly too wide for me to believe it was honest) as she asked if I could put it in as I was making the drink anyway.  
I repeated that we didn’t have honey behind the counter which only garnered more wheedling. A glance at Jason told me he was too engrossed in his phone to have noticed. He’d probably just have me satisfy the customer anyway.  
I bit back a sigh and gave her the most sincere smile I could manage at that moment as I told her sure, I’d just go grab the honey real quick.  
The register dinged as I was barely out from behind the counter. Jason yelped a quick “Hey!” and by the time I turned around the “customer” was gone with about 50 dollars in 1’s and 5’s.  
Ah the glories of life in the customer service industry.  
I snapped out of my reverie as the bus pulled up to the stop. I hopped on and swiped my bus pass. Then I settled in for a thankfully uneventful ride.  
I had, of course, gone back to reading the book while on the bus. I didn’t look up much as I headed down the street and into my building.  
After my apartment door shut behind me I just sort of.. leaned against it and slid to a sitting position on the floor.  
I was making all the motions of being engrossed, trying to convince myself. But once I had realized that the information I had wouldn’t explain the taboo of resurrection, the wind had dropped out of my sails. It wasn’t that I wanted to do it, just that it was a mystery, and I wanted it solved.  
I had wanted to do more research before I tried any sort of ritual again, but a short conversation couldn’t hurt, right? They’d said to call them back up, hadn’t they?  
Glancing up at the rug I’d used to hide my ritual space, I chewed my other thumbnail as I pondered.  
Yeah.. just a short conversation. Even if I didn’t get a direct answer, a direction to look in would be helpful.


	7. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Our main character finally gets a name!   
> We also get a chance to learn more about the spirit summoned back in Chapter 4.

The echo faded and I held my breath, eyes on the smoke. Each twitch as it rose drew my unrelenting gaze. Unrelenting, that is, until .05 seconds later when a different twitch drew my attention.  
It was a frantic 30 seconds that I spent way too intensely, watching for the smoke to coalesce into that strange formless shape again. When it finally did, I let a small sigh escape.   
As the candles flickered, the smokeform chuckled.  
“ Do I really need to remind you that blowing me away won’t work?”  
“Oh, hur hur very funny. Now are you still busy or can we talk this time?” I was not amused.  
The head lump snapped back- er, well… the “face” did. The rest of the head cloud managed to drift to its proper place with the face a second later.   
Still, the “body” language of surprise came through, and was reinforced a moment after by a disgruntled “Well somebody’s tetchy today.” And then a sigh followed by an upbeat, “But if the options are bewildered or annoyed, I’ll take annoyed any day. And to answer your question, No. I’m not busy. Got some time to spare and can chat a bit.”  
The smokeform nodded, and it followed the same pattern of face movement and then the rest of the head reacting on a delay. It was disconcerting to watch.  
But I’d just have to get used to it if I wanted to continue with this. A breath, then a shrug and I looked back. “Just don’t act patronizing and we’ll be fine.” The smokeform nodded again so I continued, “Might as well start with introducing ourselves. My name is Lane.”  
“Hmph. I’m pretty sure you expect who I am, but I might as well confirm. I’m Hippocrates.”  
“Ok, Hippocrates. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Last time we talked, you were surprised I was able to summon you with just the Hippocratic Oath. Feel like elaborating on that?” I figured it was probably better to go with topics that were already in front of us and casually guide it frim there to my question.   
“Oh, well that’s pretty simple. It shouldn’t have worked. Judging by your reaction when I showed up, it was your first successful ritual. That means you were inexperienced, enough so that in order to call a specific person, it should have required a strong personal connection as well as an item intimately connected with the spirit being called. Just about the only tie that today’s version of the oath has to me is that my name’s on it. The basic concept I tried to instill is still there, but it’s been edited, translated and interpreted by so many people that it shouldn’t have a strong enough tie to me for you to call me up with it.”  
I considered that. It made sense. I considered the situation as a whole. And then I considered the fact that nothing was really preventing this spirit from lying. Maybe it was time to show a little suspicion.  
“You certainly seem to know a lot about necromancy for an ancient Greek physician.” I hazarded.  
That just got a laugh. “What do you think being a physician consisted of back then? We didn’t have X-rays or little machine manufactured medicine capsules. Necromancy and other practices that operate on the same principles were integral to gathering information for diagnosis and treating patients.”  
He was very much at ease, which just pissed me off. So far as I could tell, this guy was playing me for a fool. Admittedly, I could have just ended the ritual and walked away, but I don’t like being the butt of jokes and I wanted him to admit to screwing with me.  
So rather than walk away, I got more aggressive with my questioning. “Oh, and you know all about today’s medical practices, huh? And you sure speak English well. I don’t even hear an accent.”  
I think he shrugged. I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant to do. The result was the head blob and the torso blob just sort of merging for a moment before separating again.   
“It’s been over 2000 years, and I have a lot of free time. Considering how much effort I put into medicine, it’s interesting to see how the field has developed. As for the language, you aren’t the first person to call me up. When one only gets a chance for conversation once or twice a year, it becomes rather imperative that said conversation is possible. I have learned many languages since my death in order to cover that.”  
As he spoke, his voice stiffened slightly into annoyance and he “crossed” his arms.   
My own annoyance wasn’t abating. “Oh, you’ve just got an answer or everything, huh? Well how about this?”  
I ended the ritual and watched the smoke disperse.


End file.
